Dear Siri...

Dear Siri, your voice recognition sucks. Nothing personal, it's all business.

As a normal adult trying to communicate with other normal adults, it is exasperating beyond belief to be hampered by a voice recognition on my iPhone 6 that dumbs my speech down to the level of an eight-year-old. No insult meant to eight-year-olds, but most of them don't hold down a full-time job, and are not trying to communicate about complex matters to an adult. And in fact eight-year-olds shouldn't be on an iPhone at all, give that thing back to your parents and get outside, get a little sunshine and play in the yard.

So back to what vexes me. As a physician, I find it hard to believe that the average person using an iPhone does not know what antibiotics are . Siri and her voice recognition seem to think that the average person using an iPhone calls them anabiotics, and she helpfully AutoCorrects antibiotics to anabiotics on a regular basis. Anabiotics aren't a thing Siri, they don't exist. Stop making things up! Please for the love of all things holy, stop taking perfectly articulate, literate human beings, and turning us into babbling idiots.

And please stop taking the name of one of the most commonly prescribed drugs in America, metformin,  and turning it into some guy named Matt Foreman. I have no idea who Matt Foreman is, maybe I should ask some eight-year-old.

Okay, back to our regular programming.